Mirror and Stretch
Technique Time:
The purpose of this exercise is to create space for insight, helping the coachee notice patterns, uncover blind spots, and stretch their thinking. It is gentle yet probing, encouraging reflection without judgment. In a way, you could say that the following reflects how a coach taking an approach that is a helpful blend of support and challenge would work.
Begin by inviting the coachee to share a situation, challenge, or decision they are facing. Frame the session with curiosity and care, letting them know that your role is to reflect what you notice and to ask questions and offer observations that challenge them to stretch their perspective. The focus is on their own reflections and discoveries.
As the coachee tells their story, pay close attention to patterns in language, recurring beliefs, and areas where words and actions might not align. Share your observations in a neutral, compassionate way. For example, you might say, “I hear you describing yourself as X, but I’m noticing Y in your story. What do you make of that?” Give the coachee time to explore what comes up for them.
Move into a series of open, thoughtful questions designed to gently challenge assumptions and open new perspectives. You might ask, “What assumptions are you making that might be shaping this situation?” or “If fear weren’t part of the equation, what might you do differently?” Sometimes it helps to invite them to consider another viewpoint, such as, “How might someone you admire see this situation?” or “Looking back from a year ahead, what would you wish you did differently here?” Allow silence to linger and reflection to deepen.
You can also introduce a perspective shift exercise, inviting the coachee to step into another role—their team, a trusted mentor, or their future self—and explore what feedback might emerge. This helps create distance from habitual thinking and opens space for fresh insights.
End the session by inviting the coachee to reflect on what they have noticed about themselves, what surprised them, and what they want to take forward. If it feels right, and with permission, you could offer what you noticed. In my experience many coachees find this really helpful.
Support them in identifying one or two small, concrete actions or experiments to try before your next conversation. Reinforce that the combination of challenge and reflection is a tool for growth, not a critique, and that noticing even small shifts in awareness is meaningful.