ARE YOU FORGETTING YOURSELF?

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Most of us have come into coaching because we want to help others and to make a difference. The very nature of coaching invites us to ‘care’ for our clients and to put them front and centre in our coaching conversations and in our role as professional helpers, we seek to give of our best in co-creating a learning partnership in which our client can grow, change, and further develop.  In doing all of this for our clients, sometimes we ourselves can become depleted or stuck and forget to value our own ‘self-care’. We can fall into the trap of putting our clients first at our own expense and forgetting altogether that we might need to give ourselves care and attention; that we might need to find space where we are supported to work with our own questions to keep learning and growing in our practice.

In our coaching manifesto we talk of this need to Keep on learning and growing. Coaching others can be deeply rewarding but also very demanding of us as people. It’s a dynamic process that goes beyond what techniques we might use into what can feel the much less tangible world of who we are. Beyond our technical coaching skills, it’s vital to keep learning about ourselves and what it means for us to be human. It’s a virtuous circle - the more we learn, the more effective we become, and the further we are able to go with our clients.

On a day-to-day level, on our own and in our practice, taking a route of continual learning can be a very simple yet deep process. Remembering, for example that we are whole people, and taking the time to connect with ourselves, even in mid-session. This could take the form of a non-judgemental ‘check in’, scanning our body and mind to notice ‘how we are’; how we ourselves are feeling in response to what we hear and see in our client.  This discipline can connect us with our own overall well-being and our state of mind. In our ‘noticing,’ we offer ourselves an opportunity to use our heightened awareness towards redirecting our energies as appropriate. It encourages us to use conscious choices that will enhance our abilities and presence in our work and to make sure that we have all we need to thrive and do our best work.

Personally, I love the infinite possibilities that supervision, reflective practice and learning in action offers me in service of my work.

The nature of supervision offers fertile ground for human connection and learning, it’s also vital to ensuring safety and freedom in my coaching relationships. Without a space to reflect and learn, all of us run the risk of getting stuck in a familiar rut. From that stuck place we can do what we have always done without learning to adapt, change and grow. Working with a trusted supervisor can provide a precious place to recognise where our inner and outer worlds meet, revealing our strengths, alongside working at the edge of our previously unrecognised limitations.

Throughout my many years of practice, coaching supervision regularly prompts me to find the courage to go beyond habits and patterns that no longer serve me or my clients. It significantly supports me in my development as a coach and coach supervisor.  In this confidential relationship I can restore, find balance, receive feedback, review my whole practice, notice any interferences that sap my energy and confidence which may get in the way of my ‘best work.’ It offers a place where I can connect with my vulnerabilities, strengths, successes, learning and above all, be encouraged to bring a curious mindset so new insights can come into view alongside different perspectives that enhance my coaching practice.

Like coaching, supervision offers a trusted ‘other’ alongside, to ensure the qualities of self-awareness, critical reflection, and dialogue to support our wellbeing, doing and thinking. Together we build a relationship of openness, to enhance our ‘vision’ and to find new ways to support our inner and outer freedoms and vitality in our delivery of a flourishing practice. This is a way of safeguarding our work with our clients, and crucially providing space, time and self-care for us as coaches, so that we too can be at our best.

In March 2022, we launch a new professional Coaching Supervision programme.  It is aimed at would be supervisors: those independent or organisational coaching practitioners with a minimum of 3 years coaching experience who wish to deepen their practice whilst developing a whole person, whole system approach to supervisory work and relationship. See HERE for further details.

 

Benita Treanor

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Susan Ralphs: MY COACHING STORY